003 | How To Treat Yourself: Keep It Planned & Special


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We talked in Episode 001 about not using food to suffocate feelings. But that’s not to say we shouldn’t be having things that feel like treats … ever. We just want to make sure there is joy surrounding them, and the best way to do that and still meet your health goals is to keep them “Planned & Special.”

I am still working to get the show loaded into Stitcher, but until then, our Android listeners have been having success listening through the SoundCloud app or Podcast Player on their devices. Of course, you can listen straight through the media player on this page, as well!

iTunes listeners: Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE, RATE & REVIEW. As a reminder, here’s a quick video on how and why to do that. BECAUSE! When you leave a review, and email me that you did it, I will send you a free 30-day ebook with one healthy habit to incorporate each day. It’s a roadmap to boundless energy and a new level of wellness. I hope you’ll leave a review so you can snag it!

Quick reminder of the dream team that makes all this happen:

 

If you listened to Episode 001, or Episode 002, you’ll recall that we’ve decided to “theme” our discussions by calendar month. And for the month of May, we’re talking about all kinds of Celebrations – how to be intentional about the foods we choose, the boundaries we keep, and the joy we create in the midst of life’s celebrations.

Here’s what we discuss in Episode 003: “How to Treat Yourself: Keep It Planned & Special”:

*Quick note about the audio: We are creating a podcast studio in my home office, but until that renovation is done, we are recording nomads! And this week, apparently, we chose poorly with our location. The acoustics are echo-y and we just want to apologize! We have a new plan to make the sound clearer for next week. Thanks for your patience!*

Announcements: We talk about the podcast Facebook group (which is over 100 members now, yeah!!) and how we want that to be a place for the conversations to continue after the episodes. We got some great feedback with ideas and suggestions for Teacher Appreciation Week or Mother’s Day after the first two episodes dropped last week, but those nuggets of wisdom were sent to us directly. We would love to encourage you to post all your thoughts, reactions and questions to the group! Because YOU are valuable. Your perspective is VALUABLE. mmmmkay?
I’ll post a graphic each Thursday when a new episode goes live and you can simply respond there with any of your reactions to the show. And we’ll start the conversation that way. I’m excited!

Also, Show Notes will appear here (on meghandorman.com) each week as a blog post just like this one. You can always find them by typing in meghandorman.com/episode-number. This one is meghandorman.com/003. Last week’s are found at www.meghandorman.com/002. And so on. Show Notes will contain an outline of what we discussed, as well as any links or resources we mention on the show.

And if you missed the post about our Trailer episode, with an introduction to me & Haley as your hosts, as well as more context for what the show will be like, you can find that here.

Updates: I give an update on my 100 squats a day. I talked more about that in this Facebook Live video.
And talk about my training for my latest fitness goal: 20 rounds of “Cindy” in 20 minutes. It’s a CrossFit workout comprising pull-ups, push-ups and squats — all bodyweight. I talked about why I picked that as my particular goal in this season of my life, as well as a Roadmap to Achieve Any Goal you might have for yourself in this Facebook Live video.

Haley talked about her fitness goal since her Little Guy turned about 6 months old (he’s one now) has just been consistency. She’s worked out 3 days a week faithfully and is proud of that! Now, she’s ready to add some more upper-body and core training on 2 more weekdays. My husband Eric is going to create a push-up ladder for her to focus on and we’ll post that to the Facebook group, so you can see what she’s doing and follow along if you’d like. Haley also wants to do some yoga but doesn’t really know where to start. We need your suggestions! What instructors or channels do you love for at-home yoga on YouTube? Post to the Facebook group!

Planned & Special: We talk about how food is not just fuel; it’s also family and connection and adventure. And food can also be LOVE. Letting it have that place in our lives sometimes can actually be nourishing. The problem is that treats are so ubiquitous, they’ve really lost their meaning. The cashiers give my kids a lollipop every single time we go to Trader Joe’s. And we live down the street, so we literally go there every.day.

My definition of a treat: A special food (or drink) for a special occasion.

The language of “treats”: I encourage my coaching clients to stay away from the word “cheat” … “cheat meal” … “cheating on your diet.” Cheating on your spouse or on a test is wrong. There are strong associations in our brain chemistry when we misapply that type of moral language to something like food. Food is a-moral. Meaning, neither good or bad. There is no food on the planet that is “bad” and there is no food on the planet that is “good” — not even the magical acai berries or the delightfully delicious avocado. There is only context.

Haley gives us some questions to ask if we’re evaluating whether something is the right choice for us in that moment:

  • What do I really need in this moment? (Acceptance? To fit in? Am I bored or uncomfortable?)
  • Does this treat support my intention, my values, my goals right now … for this season of my life?
  • If so, how much of it do I really need to be satisfied? Probably less than we think.

 

Litmus Test: Is this treat PLANNED (did I intend on enjoying it today) and is it SPECIAL (careful not to confuse “fun” with special. Fridays are fun. Netflix is fun. I could convince myself it was a special occasion just because I got to go to the grocery store by myself with no kids. Be discerning about what is really a special occasion so the treat will be worth it, will be memorable, and will be isolated enough that it does not hold you back from what you’re trying to do with your body and mind.)

Listen for “Victim Language”: Haley cautions us to remember we always have the power to choose. If we chose to eat or drink something we wish we hadn’t, it is DIS-EMPOWERING to say, “I caved” or “I couldn’t help it.” Identifying that we always have power and always have a choice makes it easier to make the choice we WANT to make next time. This is not about beating ourselves up for eating chocolate. This has everything to do with mindset. Was the chocolate a wonderful moment of celebration in some way? Or do I feel guilt and shame surrounding it? Identify your power to choose, in any situation, and then decide what you want for yourself in this season.

Some ideas for managing “the moment”:

  • Leave the room and go for a walk
  • Pour a big glass of water (or soda water / club soda) and sip on that instead
  • Make some herbal tea or broth
  • Go write down 3 things you’re grateful for in your smartphone or in a notebook (counteracts the feelings of deprivation)
  • Go back to your “Why” – why did you commit to this decision in the first place?
  • Envision your 30-days-from-now self – what is she hoping you will choose right now in this moment?

 

Let us know if you incorporate any of these suggestions into your week! What are some examples of “Planned & Special” treats for you? Post in the Nourish Joy Podcast Community on Facebook or send an email to podcast@meghandorman.com. We love to hear from you!

Highlight-Lowlight: We introduced this segment in Episode 001. It comes from a game I play with my kids in the car on the way home from school. Each week, Haley and I will take turns with who shares the Highlight and who shares the Lowlight, but they will be moments from our week that either Nourished Joy in our lives or took away from it.

Meghan’s Highlight: I threw a pool party for my husband last weekend for his birthday and it was the first time some of our newer friends would see me in a bathing suit. I was worried that because I’m a coach, they would expect me to look like the cover of a fitness magazine and when I didn’t, I would be a disappointment to them, and that maybe my work would even be discredited. But I coached myself all week in the reminders that bodies are not for objectification – they are for loving on people. I would be devastated if someone ELSE didn’t come to our party because of insecurities surrounding their body. We are on this planet to be in community with each other. And expectations of visible abs are the product of a culture that worships all the wrong things. So, I worked hard not to participate in that culture. And I rocked my bikini with our family and friends and never gave it another thought.

Haley’s Lowlight: Mom came to visit and invited one of our friends to church — a friend we see fairly regularly. Haley felt like she should have done that a long time ago. Being pastor’s kids, we sometimes shy away from talking about our faith or inviting people to church because we don’t want them to think, “Oh here it comes.” We want them to know our motives are genuine, that we just want them to experience what we have. So, Haley wants to be more bold and more open to those opportunities and conversations with the people in her life.

Free Gift for you: We’re shooting for:

  1. A bunch of Subscribers, so please click Subscribe in whatever platform you listen on (email podcast@meghandorman.com if you have trouble). This is helpful for growing the show, in terms of the type of guests and opportunities we can bring you as listeners. The more subscribers, the better the show gets! Here’s that video I created on how and why to RATE, REVIEW & SUBSCRIBE.
  2. A bunch of REVIEWS … like, 200. This is the number-one way to make sure more people find out about us, and grow this wellness-minded community. If you leave a review, screenshot it (or copy and paste) and send in an email to podcast@meghandorman.com, I will send you a FREE 30-day ebook with one new habit to focus on each day. It’s really robust but also really actionable. I know you will LOVE it.

 

Happy Thursday! Let us know what you thought about this week’s episode on “Planned & Special.” Have a nourishing and joyful weekend!


Resources:

  1. If you’d like to be notified the next time my monthly membership opens up (probably for a Summer Challenge in June), click here to get on the info list. Simply email me and say “ADD”!
  2. If you’d like to get my weekly emails, with highlights from the blog, podcast, Instagram + a first look at any new resources or announcements, click here to email me and just say “ADD”!
  3. If you’re not already part of the Nourish Joy Podcast Community on Facebook, come join us! We go live in the group each week to answer your questions about the episodes, or whatever’s on your mind!
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